"Why are you striving these days?
Why are you trying to earn grace?
Why are you crying? Let me lift up your face.
Just don't turn away.
Why are you looking for love? Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough?...."
-Tenth Avenue North
The beautiful and wonderful and so dearly missed Taylor Grimes introduced me to that song this past spring and since then I keep hearing it on the radio...
I seem to get somewhat desensitized to songs after a couple plays, but this song...this song has the ability to speak to me every time. The lead singer of Tenth Avenue North, Mike Donehey, speaks in the voice of God (ok, not God's actual voice...but as if the lead singer is God speaking to us--all of humanity). I feel like this approach is so much more direct and powerful if the artist's goal is to get people to wake up a bit and really radically change their thinking, or question their lifestyle. I think it's great when Christian artists write about their struggles and how their faith is carrying them through and write their songs from a personal standpoint...
But songs that speak from the perspective of God talking to us directly kinda make me crawl and squirm and revisit a state of humility and deep thought and conviction.
And this song more than I think any Christian song has in the past, really tugs at my heart every time. Because I am so guilty of what Mike sings/writes...
Why do I continue to strive to be someone I'm not? Or maybe not so much that, but strive to a better version of me? Why does jealousy and perfectionism and images of "flawless" women on TV and in movies seem to seep heavily into my thoughts? Why do I strive to have my life put together and plans figured out? Why do I have these visions of my Junior year in my head--some that even cause me to stress--when God will take care of it all if I surrender control to Him?
The lyrics "Why are you looking for love? Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough?" hit me the hardest. Such good questions, loosely paraphrased and extracted from verses in the Bible, though one of the primary messages that is found in the Bible:
He is enough. God is enough. "I am enough."
Why do I search? Why do I daydream so frequently about earthly posessions and build up a stupid romances in my head and dwell on these THINGS that don't ever completely satisfy??
What I want to remind myself and remind you is...we need to be in God's word. We need to be in prayer. We need to search and seek and try to grasp ahold of His awesome majesty. Why do we search for earthly things, even earthly friendships and relationships, to fill us up when they will never satisfy the deeper longings of our heart? And we are fools if we think they are all we need in this life.
I feel like once again my post is rather devoid of profoundness and originality because a "message" such as this is most likely preached by thousands of pastors across the world every Sunday....but I hope maybe the "Julie" in this post made it worthwhile to read....and at the very least I got something out of it by writing it ; )
Happy early early early Tuesday morning. Yikes. I must go to bed now.